Arts & Crafts - Palin Fathead

Your Very Own Sarah Palin Fathead !!

Impress all your friends by being the first to have your very own Palin fathead! Have her by your side as you cook dinner in the kitchen, have her watch over you while your on the shitter (you can yell "done" but she won't wipe your ass), place her on the ceiling above your bed so you no longer need a mental picture when you fuck your wife - Palin looks great anywhere! Just follow the simple directions below. And best of all its free!!!

Step 1: Google image Sarah Palin and pick out your favorite Palin photo
Step 2: Save the image to your desktop
Step 3: Open the image in Paint
Step 4: Go to page setup and click "fit to".
Step 5: Enter the approximate size you want your Palin fathead (width x length)
Step 6: Print
Step 7: Get out your scissors and tape
Step 8: Cut and tape together your fathead!
...and walla - it's like she's actually in room with you!!

An actual 3 page by 8 page example above

If you love your Palin and had a great time making her, follow the same simple 8 steps above with Sean Johnson. She's a perfect fit for your fridge!

input from my boy Turtle

Adam "Pacman" Jones

The Pacman Jones formula for getting reinstated into the NFL (Mike Vick - take notes)

• Make necesary adjustments to your name - real or full, which ever applicable (Pacman to Adam)
• Get rid of your dreadlocks/cornrows (buzz cut)
• Get a very rich white person to back you (Jerry Jones)

See link below:
NFL Fines Pacman Jones For Not Tucking Gun Into Pants

Billboard for October

Singles to look out for in October (click title to listen to song):

• T.I. ft Rihanna - Live Your Life - will be #1 on Billboard Hot 100 within 2/3 weeks
• T-Pain ft Ludacris - Chopped N' Screwed - slower jam
• Akon - Right Now (Na Na Na) - standard Akon
• Ludacris ft Floyd Mayweather - Undisputed
• Ciara ft T-Pain - Go Girl - catchy enough with big names
• Lady Gaga ft Kardinal Offishall - Just Dance - dark horse
• Estelle ft Sean Paul - Come Over - chill song
• DJ Khaled ft T-Pain and Kanye West - Go Hard - not exactly new but still under the radar

Market Bottom

The market was down 777 points today. Coincidence...I think not. It is obvious the market has hit its bottom and will be going straight up from here. Trust me. 20,000 here we come!!!

BREAKING NEWS

Baillout to Air on Special "Deal or No Deal"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With no clear end to the financial crisis in sight and the bailout plan at a standstill, President Bush decided to take things into his own hands late Monday.  At around 4:30 pm, Bush made the executive decision to bring bailout negotiations to primetime television.  In one of his smarter moves as President, Bush announced that the terms of the bailout will be on the line in a special Deal or No Deal to broadcast live tomorrow night.

The full details of the show will be announced later tonight. But this is what we know so far:

• Henry Paulson will have his head waxed, recieve 10-20 botox injections, superglue his own pubic hair to his chin, and be the shows guest host.
• The Deal or No Deal models will be replaced by Capital Hill's finest women - including Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin, and Condoleezza Rice.
  
• All proceeds from the show will go directly toward the bailout fund.
  

Bush commented on his plan, "It's a plan where everybody wins. It ensures that we'll have a deal by Thursday and it will be great entertainment. Heck, I love that show. On top of that, we'll be able to take the money made from the show to pay for the majority of the bailout."

Palin on the Runway

VPILF: The hottest VP canidate since Al Gore

Sarah Palin 1984 Swimsuit Competition - Unfortunately its a one piece. Nice stems Sar...

You can sign my yearbook anytime

A Real Horses Ass

Shannon Sharpe, A Bronco for Life

Denver, Colorado (AP) - In a desperate attempt to get back in the NFL, Shannon Sharpe had his head surgically removed from his body on to that of a bronco. Sharpe's agent has been in contact with his former team, the Denver Broncos.

When asked about the negotiations his agent responded, "We'll likely have a deal done by the end of the week. We're still working out the terms of the deal...the Broncos want to use him more for marketing and possibly make him a team mascot/spokesman. Getting back on the field will be tougher than Shannon first thought as he is unable to catch or carry a football."

Although Sharpe has been highly criticized for the surgery, it has opened many doors of opportunity. It appears that there will be life after football for this impressive colt. Other options currently being discussed are a Mr. Ed motion picture, multiple beastiality porn offers, and the Surreal Life. When asked to comment on his new "life," Sharpe shrugged and said, "Hey...my penis is 2 meters long, so whatever."

Photoshop work by my boy Turtle

Bailout Advice - see Dick Fuld

When in search of a bailout look no further than to that special somebody you fuck.

Dick Fuld may have run a multi billion dollar investment bank into the ground and sold his stock for less than 1% of what is worth 6 months ago, but he sure knows who to look for help during a financial crisis - the one you fuck.

No, no...not Erin Callan (shes a fox) or the shareholders, i said fuck, not fuck over. Fuld went to his wife, who by all means is not a fox (come on Dick...you were on top of the world and that was all you could snag- sucks to be hiding out in that snuff now I'm sure), to give him a helping handjob and save his ass. Kathy Fuld will be selling many of her treasured modern art pieces in November and expects multiple pieces to go for over a million dollars.

The Reach-Around Bailout - The Dick Fuld Story

When asked about the auction, Kathy said, "I'm not going to fucking sugar coat it for you. By putting 158 year old firm 6 ft under, Dick managed to do the same with our financial security. I don't want to sell these pieces, but I have to. That's all! Fuck this, fuck you, fuck Dick...[sigh]...[to herself]..I could use a good fuck right about now."

Grr...[bite]

However, Fuld's ways are easier said than done when it comes to the current U.S. financial crisis. In recent years the US has changed roles from the pitcher to the catcher, as everyone else appears to be doing the fucking. It's a shame Tony Blair isn't around anymore, Bush would had this shit solved already.

Cougs

From last night....

True Life: Texts from an older women - While pregaming last night the 40s w/ 40s party we're trying to throw came up which brought up some of the older women stories we've had here at our short time at wpb. So I threw my cell phone to my buddy and told him to say whatever he wanted to this coug Jill I grinded on and sloppily made out with in black out mode.

"Me" - 10:35 PM: "Hey baby, you going out tonight?"

Jill - 10:40 PM: "Your texting me so, I'm assuming your drunk" --no shit

Me - 10:47 PM: "Nah just wanted to see you again"

Jill - 10:48 PM: "A month and now you want to see me?" --come on now, you know what this

Me - 10:58 PM: "Yeah baby, I've been thinking about you and want to hang out" --aka ...

Jill - 11:01 PM: "Trust me hun, I'm not what your lookin for" --yea...im looking to start a long term relationship...stupid bitch

Me - 11:10 PM: "Don't say that baby, come out and we'll have a great time...I promise"

Jill - 11:13 PM: [picture message] "Hi" --nothing special...looking back should have asked for a sexy pic...there's always tonight

Me - 11:15 PM: "You're even sexier than I remember"

Me - 11:18 PM: [picture message] "you know you want me" --picture of me throwin out the vibe

Jill - 11:19 PM: "Can't go out tonight...don't have a babysitter" --drops the bomb

Me - 11:25 PM: "Fair enough...have a good night"

Jill - 11:27 PM: "I'll call you next time I'm downtown"

...

Jill - 4:23 AM: "Hey, you still up? --ok, ok

Me - 4:35 AM: "Yea...whats up" --(this is me now)

Jill - 4:37 AM: "My son is sick and woke me up. I'm going to have to take him to the doctors tomorrow" --wtf is going on-why is she texting me at 4:30 am to tell me her kid is sick, wtf did my boy say to this broad

Me - 4:38 AM: "Sorry to hear...goin to bed"

Jill - 4:39 AM: "Goodnite hun! xoxo

Update: They don't sell 40s in Florida. I know I couldn't believe it myself. Talk about an untapped market. That's like banning kfc and waffle houses. Looks like I'll have to import them from Georgia. There's always something.

Sarah Palin's Tits

Sept 26, 7:28 AM EDT

Sarah Palin #1 on Google

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Despite the current financial crisis, Alaska's own Sarah Palin has managed to remain on top of the Google world. Since her VP nomination on the August 30th, Palin has been searched on Google more than any other person.

After some further research...

Top 5 Sarah Palin Google searches

1. Sarah Palin tits

2. Sarah Palin's daughers tits - (fucking bombs...pretty sure they have their own zip code)

3. Palin sex tape

4. Sarah Palin fathead - (someone should def get on that)

5. Palin bikini - ("fuck, theres got to be something out there" (0-4))

What the people say:

"I'll pay two paychecks on a Palin fathead if she shows some nipple" - true that

"Palin?...love her. She def fucks like a champ. I even hear she cheats on husband...[pause] so you're tellin' me theres a chace"

"Everytime I look at her I just picture her eyein me in those sexy glasses as she devours my dick and cups my balls" - i thought i was the only one..

The Real Debate...

Full shave, runway, or free spirit? I have a mental picture of a runway, but I'd say odds are she's free spirit. Fucking Alaska.

Even the inbred's have found a way to get off to Palin... http://news.aol.com/article/palin-maze-carved-in-cornfield/189052

Sarah Palin's tits google results